Sometimes, you just need to sit back and look at what you've become.
I'm a guy who lives in the future. Always considering the what if this, what if that. I do it so much that I don't participate in my life in the present. Then I woefully hope I do things to make the futures I dream of possible.
Kind of hard to do things when you're always planning for after they are done.
My girlfriend pointed this out to me yesterday, and I had to face something I had known was true.
Part of my desire to change direction in my education stems from a fear of not being good enough at what I'm studying (filmmaking/new media art). Instead of working to better myself, I've been trying to flee.
The time for fleeing is over.
As it happens, I place a dangerous amount of faith in my degree choosing my life path for me. I pick classes meticulously and obsessively, and stress over them to the point I change them all a billion times. It's a miracle I'm making such good progress towards my degree, as a matter of fact.
I've changed it a billion times already this summer since I registered, flinging myself down various life paths.
Now that I want to combat this planning with some actual doing however, I've reverted back to what I was advised for..
Filmmaking and art, here I come.-
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